MAILBAG!

So, a particularly inquisitive friend of mine has started what I intend on turning into a reoccuring event on this blog.  Reader questions!!  We’re going to call it Mailbag Time!!!  That’s way too many exclamation points for this early in a post!!!!  But seriously.  I welcome your questions, of any kind, and would love to answer them.  There are no stupid questions!  And if there are, I will simply not post them, to save you the embarrassment.  So, anything you’re wondering about, ask in the comments, or shoot me an email here.  Hopefully, this can become a regular thing we do.

So, we’ll start it off with...
Audrey from Oak Park asked: (she overachieved and asked 4, so...the bar is set)

How do you draw the line at something being due to ADHD vs. something less "clinical"? I'm thinking in particular about your "bills" example and how that kind of thing happens all the time to people for all sorts of reasons. So how do you decide when you can attribute stuff like that to ADHD and when you can't/don't/shouldn't?

That's a great question, because it really made me think; I hadn't considered how I differentiate between the two before tackling this question. I'll use the comcast bill example, because it was brought up in the question. In this example I can tell you with 100 percent certainty that this was a case of ADHD rearing it's ugly-yet-sometimes-humorous head. Why? Because of this sentence; “Your service has been temporarily discontinued due to an outstanding balance.  You may pay over the ph....” annnnnd facepalm”.

I need to clarify something about that sentence.  The “facepalm” was not an “Ohhh great... I completely forgot about paying the bill this month” facepalm.  It was more of a “Are you kidding?  I thought about paying that bill 7 different times in the last 15 days and I just never did it” facepalm.  And there’s a huge difference between those two things.  

Anybody can forget to pay their bills.  You get them in the mail, lay them on the counter and start making dinner.  You’ve got a lot on your plate this month: your cousin is getting married in a week, and you have to find him a gift since he only registered at Bass Pro Shop.  You have a dentist appointment on wednesday, and you have to floss 16 times a day to make up for the last 6 months of failure.  Those expense reports are due in two weeks, and I have no idea what expense reports are since I’m an electrician, so nevermind.  The point is, you’re busy, and you forget to take care of the bills.  Happens to everyone.

That’s not how it works for me.  The worst thing that these companies do to me is put a due date on these bills.  I open a bill and, Sweet!  I don’t have to pay this for 15 more days!  Horrible thought process.  But it’s exactly how the ADHD mind works.  There’s a saying, that describes this phenomenon perfectly, and it goes, “Due Tomorrow?  Do Tomorrow”.  So when I see I have 2 weeks to pay a bill, it gets shoved so far back in my brain that I don’t think about it for days.  

But then I do think about it.  Multiple times.  But every time, I remember that the bill still isn’t due, and come up with a really good excuse as to why I shouldn’t pay it now:  I need to leave for work.  This is a really good TV show.  My computer is like 8 feet away...  That happens over and over until I finally forget for long enough that my cable stops working.

Apparently I could’ve written a whole post about that one stupid bill.  But anyway, all that to say, there is a distinct difference between “normal” forgetfulness and my ADHD moments.  A “moment” isn’t so much forgetfulness as it is a series of systematic and continual procrastination.  You know, mixed with heavy doses of forgetfulness.

What led to your (eventual) diagnosis?

Oh man, that's a story worthy of an entire (and possibly more than one) post. And I will get to it, I promise.

Are there medications for ADHD, and if so, what do they do?

Yes, there are many medications for ADHD; the most popular of which are Ritalin and Adderall. There are many more, and surprise surprise! I have a story to tell about my experience with medication. SPOILER ALERT: it wasn't good...

Do people outgrow ADHD?  Especially with the perception that "so many kids these days" seem to have ADD or ADHD, does that mean all sorts of adults do, too, but we just don't talk about that?

Another fine inquiry, Audrey!  You’re an expert question asker.  From what I’ve read, and my own experience so far, ADHD isn’t something you can “outgrow”, like allergies or being an annoying teenager.  If your brain has worked in 5th gear since you were 4, it’s always going to work in 5th gear.  ADHD will always be present in those who had it as a kid, but you’re right; we don’t hear a lot about Adult ADHD.  This is for a couple reasons.

1. Self-awareness.  By the time you’re 30, you’ve most likely learned that it’s annoying when you interrupt and yell random things and act all fidgety when other people are talking, and they kind of hate you when you do it.  And if you haven’t realized that, there’s a good chance a lot of people hate you.  Most adults have learned to suppress or hide the Hyperactive urges for the sake of being a normal human.  Kids haven’t learned that skill yet, so the ADHD is more obvious.

2. Coping Mechanisms.  This is probably a post in and of itself, so I’ll give a brief overview.  When somebody is born without hands, they learn how to do stuff with their feet, and with their mouth.  When someone is born blind, they develop a much higher sense of hearing and smell and touch, to adapt to their circumstance.  It’s no different for those of us who have with lived our whole lives with ADHD.  Like any other disorder, handicap, or disability, you learn coping mechanisms as you move through life.  You get better and better at coping as you become an adult.  Since ADHD isn’t a visible, physical issue, adults have developed enough of these mechanisms that they can successfully hide the disorder for the majority of the time.  For the same reason, the basic plan for most patients on ADHD medication is to wean them off the drug entirely in just a matter of years.

That’s all for now.  As always, comments (and now QUESTIONS) are welcome and greatly appreciated down below or here.