How I Missed the Bus

As if middle school isn’t just a 3 year-long nightmare on it’s own.

Puberty, growth spurts, class schedules, hot “lunches”, exams, strange classmates, cliques, passing notes, “girlfriends”, lack of “girlfriends”, braces, locker rooms, home ec., hair gel....

All of that stuff made middle school really, really horrible.  Like, i’m getting anxious recounting the unmitigated disaster that was my time at Sandberg Middle School.  That name just makes me want to projectile vomit.

Sorry, that was gross.

Anyway, imagine slogging your way through all that, while simultaneously battling a learning disorder.  Oh, and just to make it a real party, you dont even know you have it!  Fun times.

The only way to successfully navigate one’s first 3 years of real school (I know that, looking back, Middle School is a total joke, but darn it if at the time it didn’t feel REAL) is to make and maintain a solid schedule for work, practice, and play.  Lucky for me, I can’t make OR maintain a schedule to save my life.

The one part of my life that did remain constant was my morning routine, and that’s only because I had a very loud, very mobile alarm.

“COLIN! ARE YOU UP?!  ITS 5:45!”  
My mom would yell down to me from the top of the stairs every morning.  No “good morning sweetie pie” softly whispered into my ear, accompanied by the smell of a fresh cooked ham and cheese omelet.  Never that.  

Worse, her path to the stairs took her directly over my bedroom, at which point her heels pounding into the hardwood just a few feet above my head on the top bunk did a better job than any alarm ever could.  
“ghrphhaggrd kinda....”
“Time to practice!”  
Ugh.  She would say it so sweetly, as if this were somehow great news.  She delivered the words in this sing-songy kind of tone which really just made things worse.  

I woke up so early every day because I would get to watch the sunrise each morning because I had to get my piano practicing done before school.  This generally meant more yelling from mom; “That’s wrong!” and “Do it again”  were two of her favorite catchphrases.  Once I finished my hour of practice, I would scarf down some breakfast (again, never that ham and cheese omelet) and most likely finish the homework that I totally did not do the night before, then head out to the corner to wait for the bus.  

Except for this one day. Why am I telling this story?

This one day, something different happened. Seriously, this story is going to ruin my life.

“SHOOOOT!”  
“What, Colin??”
“I.... I missed my bus.”
“What? How?” How do I answer this question?!...

This day, I walked back into the living room to grab something when I heard a strange sound outside.  Naturally, I went to the large picture window to see what it was, which was when I realized I was hearing a huge number of birds, all just chilling outside on my front lawn.  That’s like, a TON of birds, my incredibly elegant 12 year old mind said to itself.  

But seriously.  Any Alfred Hitchcock fans here?  He made a movie about exactly what I was seeing.  It’s called.... The Birds.  Look it up.  As my wonderfully inquisitive nature is wont to do, I decided to find out just exactly how many birds there were.  So, I began counting.

1,2,3,4...

For those of you unfamiliar with ADHD, there is a term called “perseveration”, or Hyper-Focusing. It’s a concept that when we discover something that is really interesting to us, our brains become fully engulfed in that task, while all other thoughts and issues are literally rendered obsolete.

27, 28.... there are a TON of birds here!

This act of “perseverating” on something can, and have had much more dire consequences.  It’s something I’ll discuss in a later post.  But it happens; it’s not a conscious decision, and as it goes on, we have no idea that it’s occurring.

42, 43, 44....
Everything else that was once important, even 15 seconds ago, no longer matters.

66, 67, 6 A rumble, and then a flash of yellow.  Suddenly, priorities are reset right back to where they were 5 minutes ago.  Those birds don’t even exist anymore.

I missed my bus because I was counting birds in my front yard.
Guys... I missed my bus to school because I was COUNTING BIRDS.

….How do I answer this question??

“Well, I was.... there were.... I saw a ton of birds outside...”
“And??”

Was that answer not good enough?!

“I was counting them.”

I never did find out how many birds there were.  The bus scared them away.